So today I had a SUPER EMBARRASSING MOMENT (kind of). I was watering my plants naked in my living room like one does when there are no children. (Just me? I think I was a nudist in a past life tbh).
Anyways. my hubs sees me and mentions it. I am MORTIFIED.
That being said, I probably do this ALL THE TIME and do not pay attention. In general, I do not care about what people think about me, or whatever. So very odd that I was consumed with embarrassment over this situation.
My brain was writing a crazy story I could not turn off.
Once I was able to calm down, I took a nice long bath with Epsom salts and smudged myself. "Get off of me embarrassment" is literally what I was saying to myself over and over and over again.
I then did what sometimes brings me some peace.
I wrote a poem. And you get to read it to because I said so.
Buried under fluffy weights
hot salt escaping
embarrassment deep
A foreign feeling
I am who I am
I also did some journaling prompts that I found on Instagram that were absolutely helpful to me.
These prompts helped me immensely, especially the ones about a solution to anxiety, and what you would do if you could not fail.
That one opened up a new line of thinking for me. What WOULD I do? Would I focus on creating and writing more? (my inner me says WHAT WRITING YOU ARE NOT A WRITER! YOU ARE NOT AN ARTIST.) But if I think of myself as a creator, as an artist, as a writer, how can I think of myself as anything but? All summer I made my focus be on creating. Creating dinners. Cooking. Painting. Writing. Some crocheting. Just because I do not make money at it, doesn't mean that I am not those things. Very important to keep perspective for me.
My embarrassment today does not make me who I am.
Anyway. Smudge away the embarrassment. You will thank me.
Also: There is a full moon next week. Time to start preparing your intentions.
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